What this blog is all about
A few years ago I woke up from a decade of slumber. I realised I had been living the life of somebody I no longer recognised, I was living a full stop life.
When I was younger I was a free spirit, wild, crazy and an eccentric character. I travelled far and wide, attended clubs and festivals and embraced life.
Then I became the old, portly, conservative stay at home that spent 8 hours a day stuck behind a desk.
Everything changed when one year I travelled to Goa in India. Here’s the full story:
India, Goa and the transition
HOW TO FIND FREEDOM PEACE AND HAPPINESS
JUNE 17, 2018
Krishna, God of joy
Bravery = Happiness
“We have no reason to mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors, they are our terrors: has it abysses, those abysses belong to us; are dangers at hand, we must try to love them…How should we be able to forget those ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.” RAINER MARIA RILKE, LETTERS TO A YOUNG POET
Happiness = Bravery
Why do I say this? Why do I believe this with all my heart; because this is how I completely turned things around for me.
I’m happy!! Yes, I am finally happy and content, deep in my heart. I can actually say I have fallen back in love with myself again; something I thought would never happen. I have been able to achieve this through the recognition that I had stopped being myself; that I was pretending to be someone else and it was that which was making me unhappy.
I am aware from talking to other like-minded people that I am not alone in this; I think many of us are living a life of conformity, of doing what is expected from us by our peers, our employers and by society in general. My happiest years in the past were when I was living a crazy life in my youth. My hair was all the colours of the rainbow and my clothes were flamboyant and eccentric. I frequented clubs full of hippies and world music fans and I saw lots of live music. I was comfortable being ‘me’.
But as I grew older I started conforming to society and I cut my hair, shaved off my beard and started wearing conservative clothes. Over the years I had become lost in work and forgotten about who I really was.
It has only been since an enlightened moment in India that I was able to say to myself “what happened to you? Where has the real you gone?”
“Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness.” Frank Tyger
I realised that for the last few years I had been trying to be another person, listening to my mother and my colleagues who would say “I prefer your hair short like that” or “your beard needs a trim” and I would think, oh yes I will do that when I get home. I stopped going out because the places I was going to were simply not who I really was; I was bored of them.
Then one day I found myself in a hippie club in Goa and felt a wave of happiness; I was amongst my own and it felt right. I danced all night and I met some amazing people. For the first time in decades, I felt that warm glow of happiness and elation.
It felt so right but there was something very wrong. Everybody there, of every age and race, with their beaming faces and warm embraces, were dressed in flamboyant garb, beads and colourful clothes, their hair long and wild; they were being their true selves. And in the centre of it all was me, dressed like an American tourist, in chinos and a blue suit shirt and smart shoes: who the fuck was that?? Not me, what the hell had happened to me? What in gods name had I been thinking all those years?
I felt angry at my self. It was a true awakening!
“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” James Dean
At 53 years old I decided from that day on I would go back to being the person I really was and I don’t just mean looking how I wanted to look, but also to live the life I wanted to live. To grab that dream of living on a canal boat six months of the year and living in Goa for the rest of the year. To embrace the hippie I always was and stop being somebody else.
I stupidly thought I was unhappy because I was overweight, old and unattractive, but it simply took my accepting who I really was to make me happy.
Now, I don’t give a shit if I’m a bit fat or older because I am being real and true to myself and I feel great! But this transformation from a grey moth to bright butterfly can involve a lot of bravery.
So, if you have ever wished you could be the person you really want to be but don’t because of work, or family or peer pressure; heed my words, this will only lead to unhappiness. If you secretly wish you could have a Mohican hairstyle with a stud in your nose but feel you cant because the world would call you weird; tell the world to go to hell and just do it. If you want to grow your hair and beard long and take off on a motorbike around the world; just do it. If you want to move to a hippie commune in a forest and live off the earth; just do it and stop conforming.
So, my answer to how to find freedom, peace and happiness is to find the ‘true you’ and to be that person, not society’s version of who you should be. Once you are being true to yourself and living the life you really want to live, happiness will follow.
LIFE IS FOR LIVING!!
This blog is about finding the real you, not being afraid to take chances and achieve your dreams. Embracing humanity and embracing life through travelling the world, alternative lifestyles, escaping the rat race and finding HIPPIE HAPPINESS.